SILENCE…and brace yourself. Cause what I’m about to tell you is true. I’m a Cable Guy. Yeah, the guy that gets your TV,Internet and Phone services up and running. It pays alright, but the experiences are priceless. Some of yawl can’t operate your daily functions without cable. It’s like an addiction you don’t want to shake. TV’s the worst addiction if you ask me. But hey what do I know.
I get the skinny every time I work. I get a pulse for the REAL today. I know the true state of the economy. The very next time that I hear one of yawl say, “please excuse the mess” I’m gonna scream like a gorilla just to mix up my day. Like yawl aint know I was coming. I know you moving and all that, I aint blind. No need to mention it to me.
Oh, and make it easy on a brotha and faster for you…take all yo knick knacks down, clear the wall and make room for for my knapsack o’ fun. I’m delivering yo toys, you could at least make it a smooth transition. Oh and I almost forgot – tip. Alot. If you knew what I have to go through to get your services up and running sometimes – shoot, you’d give me yo whole check. And yes I’m talking about you. All of you. Every single person that has access to these things. Rich, poor, black, white, asian, Hindi, Muslim, Christian, Mexican, Jamaican, from NY or Rhode Island, Cuba, Texas, Puerto Rico, Japan, England, Panama, Nigeria – all over the world. You. You, you, you.
I done hurt my back twice moving some of yawl TV’s. UPGRADE! IMMEDIATELY! Wanting me to work magic on a TV with no power button. NO POWER BUTTON! I’m actually laughing remembering that. It was crazy – so crazy. They trying to turn the TV on with pens, a butter knife and some tweezers. We never go her going. I offered them a TV, as long as they came and got it. They never did. Sad. The state of the economy? Sad.
Some of you done fed me, gave me drink. Talked to me. Listened to me. Laughed with me. Hugged me. Prayed over me. Shook my hand and exchanged information. We parted lifetime acquaintances even if I never see you again. I write because I must, I must record my experiences because…I can’t make this stuff up. Some of it is so outlandish that I just have to tell someone. It irks me greatly not too. And it’s getting outright ridiculous in some cases. But in others…it can be real. I’ve tried to have as much literal proof like video or audio recordings as I can, but most times this is from memory.
So I get paid by job. The more jobs I do the more I get paid. So I have some control over how much money I can make. The problem is, that there are way more jobs that there are techs to fill them. More demand than supply. Doing cable aint for everybody. Heights, crawlspaces and attic’s…for the faint of heart – can be brutal. Some work a month or two, run into a snake and be out – on that alone. But it’s really a recession proof job. I don’t care how poor we get, people gooiing to have they TV.
We’re around your families, your pet’s, your life. I sometimes make it a point to ask people about themselves. Where they from? Surveying their hearts and minds as they tell me memorizing stories of their lives. So many wow’s? Oh reallies? I do too’s.
Can you think of any other stranger that you will give free reign to roam around your house? Will let in all hours of the day? Sure you say maintenance guy. But you only gonna call him if something is broken. If it never breaks you never call him. Lawncare? Oooh, good one. He never actually comes in the house though and if you live in an apartment you never meet the grounds crew. Why would you want to? They got grass all over them, and they been sweating and they prolly stink. But some of yawl LIKE that, now dont ya, DONT YA? (eyes squinting and point).
My name is…Cinique, but my friends call me Q. You call me Q in public, you just raised yo street cred by 300%. I know people man (shoulders back, lip snarled). I got politicians, electricians, professors, business men, surgeons, writers, lawyers, ballers, hustlers, pimps. And cool with um all. Respect.
Every story I tell you has truth in it. Some stories I exaggerate a bit. But most are true I promise. I have asked some people permission to share our meetings. I will not give their names. Mostly because I dont remember them. I try to remember to tell people – to not be offended if I dont remember their names. I meet sooo many people that I literally cant keep up. I’ll remember your face, but thats about it.
I visit an average of 7 different houses every day. We’ll say 2 of these 7 are apartments. If people know you the cable man, they gonna stop you and ask you questions. I meet you of course, your spouse, your four kids, Aunt Becky, cousin Mike and Kryptonite the dog. So lets break it down as and average of 3 people each place I visit. I work 6 days a week. Yes 6. And maybe 12 hours each day. 7am-7pm. I work at least 65-72hrs every week. 3 people times 7 homes equals 21 people a day. 21 people times 6 days a week equals 126 a week. 500 a month. Need I go on? So in one years time 6048 different people. Different houses. Different everything…diverse.
With travels as these, I’m to finally have an outlet to relieve the pressure of telling these tales. Now I haven’t written for ages. I put the pen down. Never wanted to be confined to it. And it’s a bit of a lonely hobby. But, I do what writers do….write. I understand the power of the written word. It’ll live on past me. And I genuinely want people to know. My tales are almost unbelievable even to me. If I hadn’t have been there to witness this stuff with my own eyes I wouldn’t believe some of it either. But as I told you, I can’t make this stuff up. I don’t need too. I get material everyday. I was uncertain whether I wanted to write a book or start a blog. But I’m lazy and often tired from WORKING so much. I done lost weight cause I aint even eating proper. Thank Dios for those of you that actually feed a brotha. Some people see me out there sweating and will have lunch right in front of me, smackin in my face. Wont even offer me a drink. However, I have eaten breakfast, lunch or dinner with several families. The workman’s worthy of his hire. Stay tuned.
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