You cant want to give up until you’ve literally been stretched past your limits. Some of my pants can attest to that revelation. I’ve been there. Stretched past my limits. Seeing no relief. Hoping the tension of it all can just cut the circulation off in my life. If I can be transparent for a minute…at one time I wanted to leave this place. I wanted to die. The deepness of being strained to a point of depression, to a point of nearly no return, is unfathomable. I thought I was strong, confident, self-assured, disciplined, educated, and knowledgeable. These things are useless when life’s’ pressure is enough to crack a pipe. I was cracked and nearly broken until I found a piece of hope.
I saw myself as a rock. I figured I could withstand the tsunamis of life. I let the rivers of living wash over me for decades. Little did I know that water can whittle rock over time and create canyons of great depth. I had to relearn how to fill the deep places with the expectation of being deeply filled. I had to hold on a little longer, instead of letting myself erode away. I prayed and I prayed. I expected better, but things seemed to get worse. I sunk deeper into the abyss. Feeling helpless. Feeling lost. But I never totally gave up. I wanted too. Yah knows I did. But I had to keep going to see what the end of my purpose would be.
I hoped greatly and never gave up the search for what ever it was I was looking for. Waiting for what seemed like eons, I finally found a slither of that hope and I’ve been reminded to never give up. I was so close to the edge I almost fell in. My life was frailly supported by mere fingertips on a ledge. I came so close to madness. So close to falling. I almost let go. But I was saved. I kidnapped hope and kept the faith. Hope didn’t let me down. Divine intervention prevailed. I had held on just long enough for salvation. Faith is all I had, but it was all I needed. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen HEB 11:1. If you expect and believe that things will get better, they will. When they do…your continued faith is justified.
I’m not quite sure where to go from here. The great thing is that hope allows me the opportunity to at least go, to be on the move, to be active again. To hope, to plan…to be alive…I actually have purpose again. Had I gave up, I wouldn’t have seen this day nor would I be able to address you. I would not have experienced the satisfaction of redemption. Without that stretch, my heart muscle couldn’t have grown stronger. Without holding on to that ledge, my fingers wouldn’t have gotten stronger. Without experiencing the depths, you can never really enjoy the highs in life. Everything that happens to us merely makes us stronger for newer pursuits and grander endeavors. Life is short and giving up makes it even shorter. So never do it. Endure it and live. Never give up.
Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.