I see you sitting in this place stricken with grief. I see your tears and your restrained pain. I see you. I have not passed away, I have merely moved on – on to the next chapter in my existence. Try not to feel sad for I am in Elysium. I feel no more pain, no more suffering; I worry only for you. There’s no more strife here; no more hate, no more loneliness. We are one. There is no sadness here, no death – only life. Unfathomable beauty is everywhere, amplified by the light. I feel an intense joy. I now truly understand the oneness of love. Love never fails; it never dies. I wish I could force this feeling into your consciousness. I wish you knew how happy I really am now. I see you. I love you. Remember me.
I had no choice about my exit and I regret leaving all you who know me, but the Father has new plans for me. I haven’t died, I’ve merely transformed. I see you – I am here with you. Comforting you right here, right now. Hoping you’ll press on in my physical absence. Hear my words and be comforted. Feel my essence wrapping you with love and compassion. Allow your heart to swallow your pain and release your peace. If you only knew, you would be happy and anxious to join me here. But you still have work to do. It is not your time. I have run my race and my time came. I pass the torch to you. Remember me.
I only fear that some of you wont understand. You’ll become bitter and self-destruct. I fear some of you wont hear my words. Please do. I am ok – everything is all right. Let peace reign and fear be cast away. I see you. I love you. Remember me.
Remember the good times, the funny times and the smiles. Remember all I have done to leave my mark on this world. Remember my seed; remember my race. Remember me.
You too are part of this oneness. Know this with all surety. Draw closer to the light, before darkness over takes you. There may a time when your race draws to an end. Don’t let the cares of the world impeded your progress. Rise up my people. Be happy, for sadness is not allowed at my home going. I love you.
Crank up the music. Dance as I would – be merry, singsongs, turn up – it’s all good. I see you and I love you. Remember me. Say your final goodbyes to my body, close the casket and drop that shell into the ground. For I live only in spirit now. But I live. Yes, I still live. I will always live. Remember that – remember me.
Smile for me…even if you can’t wrap your mind around what I am saying to you right now. Smile for me. For you smile not for me, but for all those who’ll remember you. Smile for those that draw their strength from you. I see you. I love you dearly. Remember me.
I had a work order in an apartment building early one morning to install 2 boxes, one for TV and another for Internet and Phone. I did as I normally do in these situations and take care of things outside before I come to the door to make things go more quickly and smoothly. So I am knocking on the door to make contact with the customer, meter in hand so I can check to make sure I got signal inside to install these boxes and get and idea of where they will be installed. Well a wiry looking female face with glasses and a weary weave, pokes from behind the door with sleep in her eyes, looks at me and turns and screams the cable guy is here, then she opens the door. Upon inspection of the surroundings there were two kids lying on the floor and a unidentified male apparently comatosed on the couch of a 2 bedroom apartment.
Continue reading “An Encounter with a Dysfunctional Family.”
I remember a job I did a while back. I was just supposed to install some internet. Well this old lady Rose in her red pajamas and her neighbor Ann were in the house when I arrived. They started drilling me with questions as soon as I crossed the threshold of the door. Turns out, a few other techs had been to Rose’s home before myself and merely failed to help or actually listen to her. As with most customers money is very important, so this was where the first drilling site would be for the pair. You see, Rose and Ann are both on fixed incomes so they’re very persnickety about their money. So being me, I educated them on how to save a little more. Showed them where to go, what to do, actually did a few of the steps for them.
Continue reading “A Happy Red Rose”
Today I had an install for a couple living inside a house separated into individual rooms-for-rent. From what I understood they had been waiting on cable since January or March of this year. That’s a long time. They already had the box, all they needed was an outlet ran. They mentioned that they had been in constant contact with XXX cable co. confirming their appointment for today. Apparently…some XXX techs have been out to this location but no one actually performed the work for them. I’m used to this though. Being a contractor, we pick up the slack for those XXX cable co. workers. They lazy and incompetent. I told them that God sent me here just for them.
So I’m there to swap a box right. Ms. 307 start going at me about how hard it is to raise 3 kids alone. How she don’t know anybody around here. I’m hip to game though. Didn’t let her get to asking me to be her friend. Hurried up and mentioned how hard it is for me to provide for my Wife and Kids. Shut her smooth down. She got real open about her life after that…but I made haste. Gotta go track down them dollars.
You NOT going to believe this. So I posted that first paragraph hours ago. Since then things have moved rather rapidly. I get’s a call from my dispatch telling me that Ms. 307 called in saying there was a problem with her box. Luckily, I was still close by so I came back. Gave it a once over and reset it. Seemed ok – kept it moving. Well, I gave my second goodbye and got back on the scent for them dollars. Low and behold, another call comes in. I’ll give you one guess who it is. Yep, dispatch with Ms. 307 on the line. So I went back a third time. Except this time I swapped the box and waited for a good bit to make sure everything is ok.
In that time, she took the opportunity to divulge many personal things to me as if we had known each other for years. She mentioned that she felt comfortable around me for some reason. Her display of humility even brought her to tears. I was moved by this. Sometimes my meetings are fated and I believe this to be one of those times. Turns out, she only needed someone to truly care & listen, a little encouragement and permission to hope in her own dreams again. I see you Ms. 307, I see you. Respect.
SILENCE…and brace yourself. Cause what I’m about to tell you is true. I’m a Cable Guy. Yeah, the guy that gets your TV,Internet and Phone services up and running. It pays alright, but the experiences are priceless. Some of yawl can’t operate your daily functions without cable. It’s like an addiction you don’t want to shake. TV’s the worst addiction if you ask me. But hey what do I know. I get the skinny every time I work. I get a pulse for the REAL today. I know the true state of the economy. The very next time that I hear one of yawl say, “please excuse the mess” I’m gonna scream like a gorilla just to mix up my day. Like yawl aint know I was coming. I know you moving and all that, I aint blind. No need to mention it to me.
Oh, and make it easy on a brotha and faster for you…take all yo knick knacks down, clear the wall and make room for for my knapsack o’ fun. I’m delivering yo toys, you could at least make it a smooth transition. Oh and I almost forgot – tip. Alot. If you knew what I have to go through to get your services up and running sometimes – shoot, you’d give me yo whole check. And yes I’m talking about you. All of you. Every single person that has access to these things. Rich, poor, black, white, asian, Hindi, Muslim, Christian, Mexican, Jamaican, from NY or Rhode Island, Cuba, Texas, Puerto Rico, Japan, England, Panama, Nigeria – all over the world. You. You, you, you.
Yes I’ve been gone. Disappeared from the writing world for some months now. As long as I’ve not disappeared from the living world. It’s been trying times and along with other types of suffering, my writing has suffered as well. Summer has been hot and extremely busy. The fourth of July was fun, but so was washing my car with my daughter yesterday. She enjoyed getting wet. Only because she’s still young and doesn’t know that I am using her for free labor. When she gets old enough to realize that, it’ll be a new type of fun for her.
My mind is clouded, but I’ve pressed my way here to, at least, touch the outside world. It is dark times for me, but the sun always seems to shine if we can just hold on til morning. Sometimes it’s hard being optimistic, even I have trouble convincing myself. Then I remember what harm can it do to have a good confession or see the brighter side of things. It helps. I always try to remember two things; it could always be worse and I made it this far.
Thoughts are fickle things; random, fleeting, mysterious. Sometimes I wonder where they come from. Some I want to keep but they escape me and others I want to forget that stay with me. The saying is true, “Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.” – Michel de Montaigne I swim in these thoughts often. There are so many things in the pool of forgetfulness and so many things that I wish I remembered. I suspect that I’m not alone. This is just a rant day. If your not interested cover your eyes while you read this. If you don’t care, cover you heart while you listen. Yes, I’ve been missing, so what? At least I’m present.
“Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach